Children Belong to Their Parents
In every society, there are lines that must not be crossed. One of the most
In every society, there are lines that must not be crossed. One of the most sacred is the line between parents and their children. A mother and father bring a child into the world; they nurture, guide, discipline, and raise that child into adulthood. That bond is natural, pre-political, and ancient.
In the 1990s, Hillary Clinton popularized the phrase “It takes a village to raise a child” through her book of the same name. The idea resonated with many because it highlighted the role of extended family and community support. But over time, that phrase has been stretched beyond its original intent. For some, it has become a justification for schools, governments, and cultural institutions to insert themselves into the sacred bond between parent and child.
We reject that overreach. At Honor Bound FIT, we hold firmly to the truth: Children belong to their parents—not to the state, not to the school, not to the culture. This isn’t just a matter of personal opinion. It’s a conviction backed by philosophy, history, psychology, and faith. Four influential voices help illuminate this value: Aristotle, Alexis de Tocqueville, Jordan Peterson, and Voddie Baucham.
Long before modern governments and public institutions, there was the family. Aristotle, writing in Politics, described the household (oikos) as the most fundamental unit of society. Families exist by nature, he argued, and the authority of parents over children is rooted in the very structure of human life.
For Aristotle, a healthy society depends on healthy families. The city-state (or polis) is not primary—it is built from households. Undermine the household, and the entire society collapses.
In our time, that warning remains relevant. When schools or governments encroach upon parental rights, they are not just making a policy mistake. They are sawing at the very branch society sits on. The family is not an accessory to civilization. It is the foundation.
Nearly 2,000 years after Aristotle, Alexis de Tocqueville traveled to the United States to study its democratic experiment. In Democracy in America, he observed that the strength of American society lay in its families and local institutions. He was struck by how parents, communities, and churches—not distant governments—were the ones shaping the next generation.
But Tocqueville also warned about a danger he called “soft despotism.” He envisioned a future where the government, under the guise of helping, would begin to take over more and more responsibilities. Citizens, relieved of burdens, would slowly surrender their freedoms. Families, in particular, would become weaker as the state assumed roles once reserved for parents.
When we see debates today over who has the final say in a child’s education, medical care, or moral upbringing, Tocqueville’s warning echoes loudly. A government that places itself above parents is not protecting freedom. It is undermining it.
Modern parents face immense pressure to outsource. Schools, coaches, social media platforms, and cultural institutions all present themselves as co-parents—or sometimes as replacements. But Jordan Peterson, the Canadian psychologist and professor, pushes back hard on that idea.
Peterson insists that parents are responsible for who their children become. Responsibility cannot be delegated without consequence. A parent who fails to discipline, guide, and model virtue does not leave a neutral void—someone else will step in to fill it. And that “someone else” may not share the parent’s values or love for the child.
“Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them,” Peterson often says. It’s not just a catchy rule of thumb—it’s a reminder that children must be formed intentionally. Parents cannot simply hope their children will turn out well by accident. Nor can they trust faceless institutions to do the job for them. Responsibility, once surrendered, rarely returns.
For many families, the question of parental authority is not just philosophical but deeply spiritual. Pastor and theologian Voddie Baucham is one of the clearest modern voices on this issue. Drawing from Scripture, he emphasizes that God entrusts children to parents—not to governments, schools, or cultural elites.
Baucham is blunt about the dangers of neglecting that trust: “If you give your children to Caesar, don’t be surprised when they come back as Romans.” In other words, if parents allow secular institutions to shape their children’s minds and hearts without oversight, they should not be shocked when their children no longer share their values.
For Baucham, the solution is clear: parents must take ownership of their children’s education, faith formation, and moral development. That doesn’t mean they never partner with others. It does mean they never abdicate. The responsibility belongs to them first.
From Aristotle to Tocqueville, from Peterson to Baucham, the message is consistent: the family is the first and most sacred institution of human society. Parents, not governments or schools, are entrusted with the lives of their children.
This truth has practical consequences. It means parents must step into their role with confidence and conviction. It means communities must respect the boundaries between public authority and private family life. And it means that when parents are pressured to step aside, they must have the courage to stand firm.
At Honor Bound FIT, we apply this value in our community by reinforcing responsibility, discipline, and ownership. Just as no one else can lift the weight for you, no one else can raise your children for you. Strength in life comes from carrying the load that is yours. And the greatest, most sacred load for a mother and father is the raising of their children.
Children belong to their parents. It has always been true. It will always be true. And any society that hopes to endure must honor that truth.
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